Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series
by DeuceKebabz
Summary: The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity. This is the first of a few stories I will write using the GNC guys above playing different games! *Game Spoilers!*
1. The Set Up

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **The Set Up**

Knock, knock, knock. The soft pounding from the other side of the door snapped Victoria into action as she pulled herself away from photo editing on her laptop. Getting up and fixing her skirt, Victoria went to the door and pulled it open. Kate and Max stood there, holding beer and pillows, with goofy smiles on their face that stayed with them as Victoria let them inside.

"Are you guys ready for the best game on the planet?" Victoria asked, closing the door behind her. Max put the beer on the desk opposite the wall as Kate laid the pillows down on the floor. "You guys have no idea what you're in for. Especially you, Kate."

Kate stood up and folded her arms together, "Look, I agreed to play because of Max. Don't do anything rotten, Victoria."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't do anything to offend you," said Victoria folding her own arms, "but be prepared to hide that sensitivity while playing this game... or you're going to have the worst game night ever."

Max turned around and sat down on the couch, pulling out her phone. "Is this game as super offensive as you say, Victoria?"

Victoria smiled, "Don't worry, Caulfield, you'll have fun. Both of you will, just don't be so damn sensitive."

"It's our first game night, I just want to make sure it's fun for all of us, that's all," Max said with a flashing smile at Kate.

Kate nodded and unfolded her arms, sitting down across from Max on a pillow on the floor. Victoria went to move away when there was another soft knock on her door. She turned around again and opened it slowly, checking to see who was there. Warren popped himself inside with a smile and a wave, bringing in some beer of his own behind him. Victoria took it from him and motioned for Warren to close the door behind. Before Warren could, a hand reached out and pushed the door back open. Sliding inside, Rachel came inside pulling Chloe behind her before Warren shut the door again. The two girls stumbled in and composed themselves as Victoria cracked open a beer for herself.

Warren went over and took the spot next to Kate, saying 'hi' to her bashfully, as Victoria handed the both of them a beer from the table. Rachel put some beer next to Victoria as she shrugged off her flannel jacket.

"So, this is the pad of a rich-" Chloe started, interrupted quickly.

"Watch yourself, Price," Victoria said quickly, "We're here to have fun, not kill each other."

Rachel passed a beer to Chloe before taking a seat in between her and Max. Victoria sat on Max's other side and pulled out a long, black box next to her. "Are you guys ready?"

"What is this game about again?" asked Rachel curiously, subtle hiding the lack of interest in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm used to video games, not board games, so I'm hoping its kind of exciting?" Warren said sheepishly.

Victoria smiled and opened the box up. "This is Cards Against Humanity: an adults only game this is beyond offensive, beyond dirty, beyond sexual, beyond any kind of profanity and inhumane thing you could think off. Anything or everything that could offend you is in this game... and it's hysterical."

Kate wrapped her arms around herself and shrugged, "I ... I don't know about this game..."

"Wake up, Marsh, have some fun and be a little reckless!"

"Kate," Max said with a smile, "Don't worry. It will be fun... I hope."

Rachel smiled to Chloe and said, "I like offensive humor, but how offensive are we talking about?"

"You'll see," Victoria said with a smirk. She pulled out two stacks of cards: a small stack of black cards and a larger stack of white cards and put them on the table. "This is how it works: each of us is going to get ten white cards. These cards are like suggestions, names, items, things, basically answers or responses to the black cards. The black cards are questions, phrases, or statements that need to be answered by the white cards. Simple enough so far?"

Chloe scooted herself forward and shrugged off her coat. "This shit sounds like it will be lame as fuck, Chase."

"I think it will be fun," Rachel said as she punched Chloe's shoulder.

Max smiled and agreed with Rachel, "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it."

Victoria divided up the white cards as they talked and continued on, "Don't look at your cards yet, guys. Now, here's how the game is played. Starting with one person clockwise, the first person is going to put their white cards face down and pick up a black card. They will read the black card out loud and the rest of us will look through our white cards and place our answers face down in the center of the table. Once all of us have put a card in, the person who drew the black card will pick all of those face down cards up and shuffle them. They will re-read the black card with each of the white card suggestions and pick the funniest one out of all of them. Which ever card is picked the funniest, the person who put that card down will get that black card as a point. Any questions?"

There was a unified silence throughout the room. Warren took the initiative and said, "Let's just get started and I'm sure it will all fall into place."

"Can we smoke in here? Like, smoke smoke?" asked Chloe drinking her beer straight down.

Victoria tisk'd, but said, "Sure. There's a tray under the table over there. And shove that blanket down by the door."

As Chloe got up to do that, Rachel took a drink of her beer as well and asked, "So, is this the first game night or am I just the newbie?"

"This is the first," Max said holding onto her cards, resisting temptation, "I thought it would be a cool idea... Then Victoria mentioned this game, so I thought it was a good time to do this."

"I'm always up for a nerd night with you, Max," Warren said taking a sip of beer.

Kate unfolded her arms, placing her hands on her lap, before she smiled and said, "You're right, Max. I should just let go and enjoy."

Victoria turned to her and said, softly, "Kate, there are some religious jokes and comments in this game. Just know that we're not making fun of you here, or trying to offend you... it's just part of the game."

Kate nodded and rubbed the back of her neck. Chloe barricaded the door smoke-proof before pulling out a joint and sitting down, ready to blaze up before the game started. Max gave a side-ways glance at Chloe who caught her eye; Max wasn't throwing a pleasant expression towards her and it was confirmed when Chloe glanced at Rachel who flashed a passive face in Max's defense. With a roll of her eyes, Chloe put the joint down in the tray, with the lighter, and focused her attention onto them and the game at hand.

"Well, let's do this shit already." Chloe said.


	2. Round One

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round One: Fingering**

"Okay, guys, I'll go first. I'm going to draw a black card, read it out loud, then you guys can look at your white cards and put in your suggestions," Victoria said with a sly smile as she reached over and picked up the first black card on the stack. "Ready guys? ... Okay. 'My gym teacher got fired for adding _ to the obstacle course.' So for this one, fill in the blank."

The other five picked up their white cards and flipped through them. It wasn't long before eyes were wide, giggles and laughs were unleashed, and quick glances were exchanged with everyone around them. A couple of times, Rachel looked as though she would topple over with laughter.

Victoria looked around and said, "Okay guys, what did the gym teacher add to the course that got him or her fired?"

The other five flipped through their cards again before all, but Kate tossed a card on the table face down. Kate was hesitant, blushing slightly, trying to avoid everyone's gaze as she focused way to hard on her own cards. Warren looked over and saw her and gave her a slight elbow nudge to encourage her to go ahead. Kate, after a moment, took a card from her hand and placed it down on the table.

Victoria, overly delighted, grabbed up the cards and shuffled them. "Okay, so now I'm going to read them out loud and choose my favorite one." Victoria grabbed the white cards in her hand, ready to read them in the blank space on her black card."

"My gym teacher got fired for adding 'A power-point presentation' to the obstacle course." Max couldn't help, but smirk alongside Kate. "My gym teacher got fired for adding 'sniffing glue' to the obstacle course." Warren smiled at this. "My gym teacher got fired for adding 'chunks of dead prostitute' to the obstacle course." Chloe lost it and cracked up, almost spitting out the sip of beer she just drank and Rachel laughed at her laughter. "My gym teacher got fired for adding 'an ass disaster' to the obstacle course." Again, Chloe busted. This time, Rachel and Max too cracked up followed by Victoria."My gym teacher got fired for adding 'fingering' to the obstacle course." Warren blushed as Rachel broke into a louder laugh. "Well, without a doubt: ass disaster. Who had that one?"

Warren raised his hand and Max laughed harder while looking at him as Warren took the black card Victoria handed him and put it next to his hand. "Damn, first point of the game."

"And that's how its done, guys," Victoria said grabbing her beer, "You're next, Max."

As Chloe was whipping her mouth off from the beer dripping down her chin, Max looked up at Kate and asked, "Which card was yours, Kate?"

"I'll bet it was 'power point presentation' right?" asked Rachel, grabbing her beer.

Max shook her head, "No, that one was mine."

"I put in 'fingering,'" Kate said as she blushed.

Victoria put her beer back down after a swig and smiled, "And here I thought you wouldn't be able to play this game."

Chloe lit a cigarette and said, with some laughter in her voice, "Go, Max, this game could get hella interesting soon."

Max smiled and reached for a black card. She drew one, pulled it up to her face and read it out loud, "Okay, here it goes. 'What is the next superhero / sidekick duo?"

"Alright, so for these ones that require two cards," Victoria interrupted, "You're going to place the cards face down in the order you want them to be read. So the first card you want read out loud goes face down first, then the second card gets placed on top of it. That way, when Max reads them out loud, she will pick them up and read them in order."

"What was the black card again?" asked Kate, holding onto her cards.

"What is the next superhero / sidekick duo?" Max repeated. After a few moments, cards were being placed carefully down on the table in front of her. Max went to grab them, but paused before she did. "Uh, Victoria, I can't risk shuffling these."

Victoria nodded and said, "That's fine, you don't have too, I don't want you to mess them up."

"Hey, Che, pass me that," Rachel said reaching for the cigarette Chloe was smoking on.

Warren smiled and said, "I don't think my combination is that great honestly."

Max picked up all the cards neatly and read them out: "The next superhero / sidekick duo is... 'Jafar and The Holy Bible.'" Chloe let out a laugh before she cupped her mouth and glanced over at Kate who sat there, amusement on her face, but not overly amused. "The next duo is... 'Michelle Obama's Arms and White People.'" Victoria and Rachel let lose a laugh after that one. "The next duo is... 'Gandalf and Stalin!'" Max barely got that one out, cracking up immediately and doubling over on the table. Rachel fell back on the couch after watching Max fall over, laughing hard herself. Chloe and Kate chucked heavily together. "Sorry, guys, wow. Really? Okay. The next duo is... 'Britney Spears at 55 and a fetus.'" Warren gave a small chuckle at this, still watching Rachel and Max come down from the last pair of cards. "And the next duo is... 'Stormtroopers and a middle aged man on roller skates.'" Victoria cracked at that comment, almost spitting out her beer. Max rubbed her face and said, "Well, I laughed the hardest at Gandalf and Stalin. Who's was that?"

Slowly, Kate raised her hand up and forward as Max handed the card over to her. "Damn, Kate, well played."

"That sounded like the shittiest TV show ever: Gandalf and Stalin," Rachel said, starting to tear up.

Chloe laughed and said, "Gandalf would vaporize that asshole after episode one of the show."

Warren sat up straight and sang out, in a cheery tune, "Brand new show to keep you watchin, it's weirdest duo, Gandalf and Stalin."

Max looked over at Warren and said, "Warren... no."

"My turn!" Rachel said as she put her white cards down and picked up a black card. "Alright. 'The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on _." Chloe damn near broke up in a laughter fit again as she put her own card down on the table. Warren just shrugged as he put his card down. "The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on 'hipsters.'" Kate and Victoria smirked amused. "An interactive exhibit on 'Toni Morrison's vagina.'" Warren laughed with Max at this, Victoria followed up with a silly smile. "An interactive exhibit on ... Hah, an exhibit on 'picking up girls at the abortion clinic!'" Chloe fell over laughing along with Warren. Victoria began to tear up from laughter. Max, as she laughed hard enough to grip her sides, looked over at Kate who couldn't help, but laugh as well behind her hand on her mouth. It took a minute for Rachel to compose herself to finish, "Okay, okay. An interactive exhibit on 'new age music' and an exhibit on 'a box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer?'" Max continued to laugh at that, wiping her eyes free of tears. "Damn, I have to go with the abortion clinic one."

"Fuck yes!" Chloe said, sitting up and reaching for the black card, "All mine, bitches!"

"How the hell did I know you had that card?" asked Rachel giving up the black card to her.

"That was hysterical, Chloe," Max sad still holding her side.

Kate smiled and said, "Even I found it funny, and its a horrible card."

"Welcome to Cards Against Humanity, guys!" said Victoria with a smirk.

Rachel took another hit of the cigarette before putting it out and saying, "You're next, Che."

"Alright, awesome," Chloe said, reaching for a black card, "Okay, guys, listen up." She drew a black card and let lose another giggle, "Alright guys, why am I sticky?" Everyone just smiled as they tossed their card in, Kate blushing slightly as Chloe went to pick the cards up. "Why am I sticky? Intimacy problems. That would imply that I touch myself way to much. Why am I sticky? A man in yoga pants with a pony tail and feather earrings?" Max laughed into her arm. "Why am I sticky? Opposable thumbs. That's tied into the intimacy problems, I'm sure. Why am I sticky? *A ... donkey... pump.* Ew, man. And why am I sticky? My sex dungeon. That's probably the best one, I'm going with that one."

"Yes," said Victoria with a smile. "Enjoy my sex dungeon, Price."

Chloe just smirked and grabbed the joint she left in the tray, "Much better then whoever put down the damn donkey pump card."

Max just shrugged and said, "Well, its a reason you'd be sticky at least."

"... That's gross, Max."

"It's Kate's turn guys," Victoria said getting ready.

Chloe lit up and took a hit as Kate grabbed a black card and read it out loud, "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _." After a few minutes of cards being tossed down, Kate picked them up and shuffled, failing to hide the humor creeping on her face. "Lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to 'Scrotal Frostbite.' That's gross." Victoria rolled her eyes and let loose a small laugh. "After being exposed to 'BATMAN!' After being exposed to 'Half-Assed Foreplay.'" Victoria and Warren both laughed at that. "After being exposed to 'ominous background music' or exposed to 'pooping back and forth, forever.'" Chloe damn near choked on her hit, pounding her chest as though she was trying to cough up an extra lung she swallowed. Rachel just shook her head and drank her beer. "Okay, well I like the ominous background music one, I feel like that would be more logical then any of the rest."

"Thank you very much," said Chloe grabbing the black card from her.

Victoria tisk'd and leaned against the couch, "Damn and I thought my vulgar card would give me the win there."

"To be fair, it was a close second, Victoria," Kate admitted before looking down at her hands.

"Yes, it's my turn!" said Warren with a smile.

Victoria reached over across the table and held out her hand at Chloe, "If you're going to smoke, share it with the rest of the crew?"

Chloe handed the joint over to Victoria and rested back on her elbows. Warren drew a black card and read it out loud. "Alrighty, mate's. What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?"

"Shit, I totally got this in the bag, fuck yes!," Chloe said, taking a card from her hand and pushing it down the on the table.

Rachel gave herself a smirk and placed her card down on top, followed by Kate, Max, and Victoria. Warren took the cards and shuffled them up. "What is making life difficult at the nudist colony? Licking things to claim them as your own? Ew. Prancing?" Max giggled. "The terrorists?" Victoria smiled and mouthed the word, _damnnit_ afterwords. "*A clock with dicks for hands that cums on the hour, every hour!* That is hysterical!" No one in the room was not laughing, even Kate had fallen on the table and laughed her gut out. Chloe was on her back, holding her sides as she laughed while Rachel damn near fell off the couch in laughter. Victoria almost lost the joint in her hands, nearly burning Max who was crying from laughter. Warren had to pull everything in himself together to finish up this turn. "Oh my god, wow. And last but not least: making the penises kiss. Haha, geez, well I have to go.. .with the clock with dick hands."

"Every hour on the hour, dude," said Chloe reaching again for the card.

"God damn it, Chloe, how are you doing this?" Max asked through her laughter.

Chloe reached for the joint and wiped her face of tears, "I am one hella lucky punk tonight."

 **Round 1:**  
Chloe 3pts  
Kate 1pt  
Warren 1pt  
Victoria 1pt  
Max 0pts  
Rachel 0pts


	3. Round Two

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round Two: Catastrophic Urethral Trauma  
**

"Hey, hand me another beer, Vic," Rachel asked making a reaching motion with her right hand.

Chloe took another hit and held it out to Max, "Hey Mad Max, do you wanna try?"

Max shook her head, "No thanks, Chloe."

Chloe smiled and held out her arm to Warren and Kate, "Do you guys want a hit?"

Kate shook her head no, with a smile, but Warren reached out and looked at it for a moment. "I want too, but..."

"It's not that hard, I'll show you," said Rachel grabbing it back.

Victoria picked up a black card and began, "Alright guys I'm up again. 'Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and _.'" It was like the domino effect: Max put her card down first, followed in a circle by Rachel, Chloe, Kate, and Warren. Rachel handed the joint back to Warren so he could take a hit for himself. "So she was eating her curds and 'a dollop of sour cream.' Ew." Without caring about giving it away, Chloe shrugged and drank the rest of her beer down. "She was eating her curds and 'drinking responsibly.' That's funny. Eating her curds and 'getting drunk on mouthwash."

"That's not really drinking responsibly," said Warren as he choked on the smoke he was letting out.

"Eating her curds and 'being on fire.' Or eating her curds and 'sharing needles.' Geez, talk about an excessive jump!" Rachel laughed as she reached for the joint again to show Warren how to take a hit again. Victoria laughed and said, "Sharing needles. Who's was that?"

Warren grabbed the card, "That was mine. Thought it was funny, maybe a bit dark."

"For Little Miss Muffet? Yeah," said Kate with a smile. "I just had being on fire."

"I had the mouth wash one, who had the drinking responsibly?" asked Rachel. She looked over and Max nodded in her direction.

Max reached for a black card and looked at it, holding it in both hands. "_ is a slippery slope that leads to _."

"Ominous," Rachel mumbled as she handed the joint back over to Warren and flipped through her cards.

They each placed two cards down on top of the other as Max waited patiently for everyone to place their cards down. "Okay, here it goes. 'Power' is a slippery slope that leads to 'a lifetime of sadness.' That's depressing. 'Not wearing pants' is a slippery slope that leads to 'lockjaw.'"

"... I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but," Victoria started.

Max interrupted her, "No, I get it, I know what they meant by this. 'Tentacle Porn' is a slippery slope that leads to 'Catastrophic Urethral Trauma.' Wowzers."

"Who the hell got that calculated of a choice?" asked Chloe, puzzled.

"'Overcompensation' is a slippery slope that leads to 'sexual humiliation.' And 'Cybernetic enhancements' are a slippery slope that leads to 'auto cannibalism.' Damn, guys, way to get darker in this game." Max said putting all the cards down and observing all of them a second time. "Weirdly, the tentacle porn was the best one."

"Who had that shit?" asked Chloe curiously.

Again, a slow hand rose up and Kate reached for the black card. Victoria's jaw fell down, "No freaking way."

Kate just shrugged and said, "It made sense."

"Wow, way to break out of that shell, girl," said Rachel with a smile as she reached for her card. "Hey guys, what's that sound?"

"What sound?" asked Victoria curiously.

Rachel laughed, "That's my card, 'what's that sound?'" They all tossed their cards on the table. Warren passed the joint back to Chloe who finished it off as Kate and Max polished off their beers. "Thank you. What's that sound? Moderate to sever joint pain. That's great! Oh man, what's that sound? The shambling corpse of Larry King, that's horrible! Hahah, alright. Exploding pigeons? Wow. A big hoopla about nothing or a disappointing birthday party. Geez, well the most shocking one was the Larry King one."

Victoria reached over and grabbed the card. "Oh yeah, Chase for the win."

"That one was really bad," Kate said with a smirk.

"Default winning card, I guess," said Victoria slyly.

Rachel kicked Chloe's boot to grab her attention. Chloe put out the joint and reached for a card. "Oh, this is fitting; What are my parents hiding from me?" They each tossed in their cards. Chloe picked them up, shuffled and read them out loud, "What are my parents hiding from me? Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry. I severely hope not. A pyramid of severed heads? Where? Men, sometimes I wonder. A box? Why? and Something that looks like a box but turns out to be a crate... seriously? Hah. The last one."

"Wahoo!" Rachel said grabbing the card from her.

Max shook her head and said, "You took my card and enhanced it."

"That's te second time now, Max," Rachel said with a smile.

"That was just so random and it fit well after Max's card," said Chloe in a relaxed tone.

Warren just smiled and said, "I guess mine was kinda disgusting. Kate, you're up."

Kate grabbed a card and read it out. "That's right, I killed _. How you ask? _."

"Kate's choices are just escalating tonight," Victoria said softly before placing her card down.

They put their cards down carefully for Kate. She picked them up and read them. "That's right, I killed 'The American Dream.' How you ask? 'Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him.)' Okay. That's right, I killed 'God.' How you ask? 'A bitch slap.'" There was a swift pause of silence after that, everyone trying to read Kate's expression to that last bit, but Kate continued on regardless. "That's right, I killed 'world peace.' How you ask? 'A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.' That's cute. That's right, I killed 'an honest cop with nothing left to lose.' How you ask? 'Kids with ass cancer!' Oh my god!" Chloe and Rachel couldn't help, but giggle at that. Even Kate, who was holding back her laughs until now, had to laugh at how offensive that card was. "And the last one is; That's right, I killed 'Former President George W. Box.' How you ask? 'Count Chocula.' That was was cute, I like that one."

"Yes, finally!" Max said reaching over for the card. "It's about time I got a point in this game."

Chloe smiled, "Look out, Super Max is coming through."

"It's one point, Chloe."

Victoria shrugged and said, "It takes one foot in the door to kick the building down."

Warren grabbed the black card and got the attention from everyone. "Okay, guys. What's the gift that keeps on giving?" The girls shuffled through their cards and put one down in front of Warren. He picked them up and said, "So what's the gift that keeps on giving? The World of Warcraft? Bill Nye the Science Guy? A really cool hat? The human body? Or how awesome I am? Wow, what choices."

Kate smiled and said, "We were all thinking on the nerdy side of our brains, I guess."

"You guys must have, yeah," said Warren with a giggle. "I'm going to have to say, because I too am a science guy, I must choose Bill Nye!"

"That's me!" Kate said as Warren handed her the card.

"Look out, Price, Kate is catching up to you now," said Victoria in a sly way.

"We'll see," said Chloe.

Rachel shook her head and said, "So who can use another beer guys? This girl is thirsty."

 **Round Two:**  
Chloe 3pts  
Kate 2pts  
Warren 2pts  
Victoria 2pts  
Rachel 1pt  
Max 1pt


	4. Round Three

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round 3: Dive Bar Bathroom Sex**

"Last call for beer before we go on with this," Victoria said popping open one for herself.

Chloe downed the rest of her current one, making a hand motion for Victoria to toss her another. She looked at Max and then at Kate and smiled to herself. "You two are near drunk, you're faces are flushed to the max."

"I'm done after this one," said Kate with a smile.

Max shrugged and continued drinking, "I live right down the hall. I'm ready for the beat-down."

Rachel laughed and wrapped her arm around Max, "Looks like a miniature Price in the making."

"Who's turn is it? Victoria?" asked Warren.

Victoria took a black card and read it out. "Adventure. Romance. _. From Paramount Pictures "_." "

"Oh geez," Rachel groaned as she flipped through her cards, "the multiple picks are annoying."

"Yeah, it's so hard to find a good combination for them," said Warren with a hiccup.

They took cards from their hands and laid them out on the table in front of Victoria. She picked them up and read, "Adventure. Romance. 'Dying.' From Paramount Pictures 'Active Listening.' I can' tell if that's funny or just depressing. Alright... Adventure. Romance... 'A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.' From Paramount Pictures 'Passable Transvestites.' Wow, that one was good."

"It actually made sense for once," Kate said with a laugh.

"Adventure. Romance. 'A mopey zoo lion.' From Paramount Pictures "The Temper-pedic Swedish Sleep System.' Adventure. Romance. 'Kamikaze Pilots.' From Paramount Pictures 'Survivor's Guilt.' That is fucking fantastic. Adventure. Romance. 'Sugar Madness.' From Paramount Pictures 'Crazy Opium Eyes.' Alright, well it's a tie between the transvestites and kamikaze pilots... I have to go with the kamikaze pilots."

Rachel leaned back and said, "Damn."

"That's for me," said Kate reaching for the card.

"Who had the transvestites? Warren?" asked Victoria.

Warren shrugged and asked, "How did you know?"

"Sixth sense I guess."

"My turn," Max said reaching for a card. "Alright. What do old people smell like?"

"Creamed corn and Bengay," mumbled Chloe from behind her cards.

Max giggled, "In the form of cards, please."

"I have nothing, can I trade cards in for different ones?" asked Rachel.

Victoria shook her head lightly and said, "Only if you're ready to give up one of your black card points."

"No thanks, I'm good."

They all tossed cards in and on the table towards Max's hands, ready for the pick up. "Okay, so what do old people smell like? ... A bag of magic beans.. Why do I feel like this is yours, Rachel?"

"I admit it, I had shit," Rachel said, putting her cards down and grabbing her beer.

"Old people smell like? ... *Dive Bar Bathroom Sex?* Ew, disgusting... Chloe?"

Chloe put her beer down and said, "Mmm mmm, you can't do that, don't go asking people."

"Best guess, is all. Old people smell like?... A gassy antelope. Theses are getting worse, hah. Old people smell like? ... Assless Chaps."

Warren shook his head and said, "Who would know what assless chaps smell like? Do they mean like leather or their ass?"

"Old people smell like? ... A cooler full of organs. Wow, what a selection guys, but I think I have to go for the most disgusting... the dive bar one."

"Yes!" shouted Warren raising his hand up to reach for the card, "Thank you, Max."

"For the record, I had a cooler full of organs," Chloe said with a smug smile.

Kate rubbed her neck and chimed in, "I had the assless chaps. No, I don't know what that means."

"Alright, Rachel you're up," said Max.

Rachel stretched before she sat up, drank a sip of beer, and then picked up a black card. "Okay peeps. Finally! A service that delivers _ to your door! I'm almost scared to get these ones."

With a smile, Victoria slid her card over with confidence, "I'm calling it now, I win this one."

"I don't know, Victoria, I have a pretty good one," Max taunted.

Chloe handed a white card to Rachel and said, "I know you'll figure out which one is mine. Super fucking simple, like me."

Max glared at her, "You? Simple?"

"Eat me, Caulfield."

"Okay, everyone, love birds included, let's get this party started," Rachel said with a tap on Max's shoulder. "Cards please? ... Finally! A service that delivers 'fear itself' to our door! Finally! A service that delivers 'a bigger, blacker dick' to your door!"

"Damn it," Chloe said slamming her fist, "over shadowed again!"

Rachel smiled and continued on, "Finally! A service that delivers 'the moist, demanding chasm of his mouth' to your door! That's disgusting. Finally! A service that delivers 'explosions' to your door! You wish, Chloe." Chloe smirked and tossed her cards down. "Finally! A service that delivers 'hot people' to your door!"

"I'll take that," Victoria said with a smile, "New toys every month."

Kate looked up unexpectedly, "Wow, Victoria."

Warren chuckled and said, "Well, ladies, if you request my services you just have to ask, not wait for delivery."

"I choose the most obvious one, a bigger, blacker dick," Rachel said. Victoria held out her hand and grabbed the card from Rachel. "Who had the moist chasm one?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if Kate did, she's on a role tonight," Victoria said with a smile.

Kate shook her head, "Nope, I had hot people."

"I had the chasm thing," Max said blushing slightly.

Victoria nudged her and said in a low voice, "Is someone feeling a bit hormonal, lately?"

"Fuck off, Victoria, just a funny card," Max said in a playful tone.

Rachel handed Chloe a black card as a way of hinting for her to get this show on the road. Chloe grabbed it and turned it over to read it. "What is the most emo?" Everyone pulled out their white cards and slid them over to Chloe. "What's the most emo? The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life. Flesh eating bacteria. Leprosy. Nazis. A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal people. Wow, what a fucking end to that."

"Hey, we're not idiots, and we are interacting," Warren said drinking his bear.

"I pick the first one, it is literally the most emo of them," Chloe said. Rachel reached over and snatched it from Chloe's hand.

Kate quickly grabbed another card and giggled before reading it to the group. "This one should be good: If you can't handle _, you'd better stay away from _."

"I don't have anything, this is a bust," Victoria said handing her cards over.

Max nodded and handed over her cards, "This kinda sucks."

"Hella fucking sucks," Chloe said giving Kate her cards.

"I have one funny one," Rachel said with her cards on the table.

Warren was at a loss for words as he handed his cards over to Kate. Kate picked them all up and read them out. "If you can't handle 'ass to mouth,' you'd better stay away from 'the boners of the elderly.' That one is weird..."

Max shrugged and said, "I feel like this is going to be the outcome for all of us this round."

"If you can't handle 'the economy,' you'd better stay away from 'Barack Obama.' Alright. If you can't handle 'two midgets shitting into a bucket,' you'd... you'd..." Kate had to cut herself off, she began to giggle profusely along side everyone who cracked up at that card. She pulled herself together eventually and started it again, "If you can't handle 'two midgets shitting into a bucket,' you'd better stay away from 'child protective services.' Wow. Seriously, wow. If you can't handle 'a caress of the inner thigh,' you'd better stay away from 'reverse cowgirl.' That one is so weirdly obvious, it should be advice in a book. And finally; if you can't handle 'Loki, the trickster God,' you'd better stay away from 'Mufasa's death scene.' That was a downer."

Chloe was doing her best to restrain her giggles, "That two midget one was fucking epic."

"Yeah, that was the best one," Kate said raising up the card looking for someone to grab it.

Rachel reached over and grabbed it with a smile, "I only had that one good card."

"After this next one, I'm going to the bathroom," said Victoria shifting her position slightly.

"Here, here," Rachel said holding up her beer before drinking more.

"Would it be cool if you could sneak me in?" Warren asked not meeting anyone's eyes, "It's stupid for me to go all the way back just to wiz."

"We got you, science guy," Rachel said with a smile. "Now hurry up and take your turn."

Warren drew a black card. *"The road to success is paved with _."* Max gave herself a brief smile before sliding her card across to Warren. The others didn't seem as amused with their cards as they gave them to the boy. Warren picked them up and read them out. "Alright. The road to success is paved with 'shutting the fuck up!' Wow!"

Chloe squirted beer out of her nose, Rachel cackled like a witch, and Victoria had to turn away to hide her brief hysteria. Kate shook her head with a smile and simpy said, "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I give, just pick that card, don't read mine," Victoria said tossing her cards to the table.

"Yeah, I concede, take that one," Rachel agreed.

Chloe nodded and put her cards on the table, "Mine isn't that good."

"I'll gladly take it," Max said grabbing the card from Warren.

"Wow, Max, you're spending to much time with Victoria," Warren said before looking over to see Victoria's expression. "I'm joking, seriously."

Rachel stood up and stretched, "Bathroom break guys."

 **Round 3:**  
Kate 4pts  
Chloe 3pts  
Warren 3pts  
Rachel 3pts  
Max 2pts


	5. Round Four

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round 4: That Ass**

As Rachel, Warren, and Victoria headed to the bathroom, Max, Kate and Chloe used the down time to chill out before the next round begins again. Chloe layed down on her back and lit another joint, smoking it peacefully by herself before the others comeback.

Kate leaned over to Max and said, "Hey, Max, this was a great idea. I love this game night."

"I thought it would be cool," Max said with a smile.

"I haven't had this much fun in a while, especially with Victoria in the room," Kate said with a smile.

Max just shrugged and moved some hair out other face, "I just thought... this was a good way to bury old rivalries and create a stronger friendship for all of us."

Kate giggled and asked Max, "What does that make you and Warren then?"

"We're... friends... why?" asked Max curiously.

"Hey guys," Chloe mumbled from the floor, "Can we not talk about this shit tonight? Let's just forget we exist outside this room, okay?"

The two girls looked at each other and nodded lightly. Just then, the others came back into the room and retook their positions along side everyone. As Rachel sat down, she looked over at Chloe and playfully kicked her. "Are you going to share that?"

"Didn't you bring any of your own?" Chloe asked, handing her the joint.

"I left them all with Frank, sorry Che," replied Rachel, placing the joint in between her lips.

Warren sat down and rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Alright, ladies, lets get this started up!"

Victoria reached for a black card, took a sip of beer, and then started up the next round. "In a world ravaged by _, our only solace is _."

"Shit, another crap round," said Chloe feeling bummed out.

They handed their cards over to Victoria who organized them and read them out. "So in a world ravaged by 'a passionate latino lover,' our only solace is 'a subscription to Men's Fitness.' Yeah, bust. In a world ravaged by 'Heteronormativity,' our only solace is 'a Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.' Wow... creative."

"Sounds like a Mortal Kombat reject for Nightwolf," said Warren to Max.

Max laughed and said, "Yeah, apparently having Nightwolf go full detective isn't violent enough for that game."

"In a world ravaged by 'Woman's suffrage,' our only solace is 'girls that always be texting.' In a world ravaged by 'jibber-jabber,' our only solace is 'attitude.' I agree with that. And finally; in a world ravaged by 'the hiccups,' our only solace is 'the mixing of the races.' Well, I'm clearly going for the jibber-jabber one."

"Woot!" Warren cried as Victoria handed him the card.

Kate turned to Chloe and asked, "What happend to your lucky cards, Chloe?"

"Shit, this game gave me teasers before," said Chloe shuffling her own cards.

"Are you guys ready?" Max asked holding the black card in her hand, waiting for everyone to be ready. "Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _."

"Here you go," said Rachel sliding her card to Max.

Kate looked taken back, "I don't know who this is, but I need new cards desperately."

"I'm ready for it," Max said, grabbing up all the cards. "Okay. Man, this is bullshit. Fuck 'nipple blades.' Hah, that's dangerous. Man, this is bullshit. Fuck 'that ass.' Really? Man, this is bullshit. Fuck 'masturbation.' "

Victoria interrupted quickly, "As a girl and someone who has done that before, why on Earth would you say 'fuck that' to that? Am I right?"

"I'm not telling you if I touch myself, Victoria," Rachel said blushing slightly.

"Man, this is bullshit. Fuck 'falling into the toilet.' Childhood problems. Man, this is bullshit. Fuck, ... Justin Biebier? Who's that?" Max asked.

Victoria made a waving motion with her hand and said, "A mainstream pop kid artist who's overrated."

Max nodded and took another look at her cards. "Alright, I choose that ass."

Chloe turned to Kate and smiled, "Here we go again! I'm coming back!"

Rachel handed the joint over to Victoria and grabbed her beer to take a drink. "My turn, right?" She drew a black card and began, "Having problems with _? Try _!"

Max shook her head and rubbed her forehead, "My cards suck hard."

"You ain't lying," Warren mumbled in response.

They all put in their two cards and Rachel picked them up. "Okay, here we go. Having problems with 'copping a feel?' Try 'road head!' Oh yeah, that's... that's the solution, hahaha. Having problems with 'Scientology?' Try 'all of this blood!' Having problems with 'eating Tom Sellec's mustache to gain his powers?' Try 'a bucket of fish heads!' That was not appealing at all. Having problems with 'parting the Red Sea?' Try 'a vagina that leads to another dimension!' ... I think this one has a double meaning, honestly. Having problems with 'self-flagellation?' Try 'what Jesus would do!' Gosh, guys, I think I'm going to have to choose the parting of the Red Sea."

"You got me!" Kate said happily as she took another card.

Rachel eyed Kate suspiciously, "Did you know that this has a double meaning?"

"I just knew it was funny, to me at least."

Chloe reached for a black card as she shifted her seat to scoot closer. "Alright bitches; What gets better with age?"

"Wine?" Victoria answered instinctively.

"Or cheese," replied Kate.

Rachel smirked and said, "I do."

Chloe reached around to grab the white cards hitting the table currently, collecting them in her hands and starting to read the black card off again. "What gets better with age? One trillion dollars! The three-fifths compromise. Dick fingers. Blackula. Italians. Wow guys... such effort. I'm going for the money card."

"Yes!" Max said as she grabbed the black card from Chloe.

"Who had Blackula?" asked Kate. Warren raised his hand up. "If he's a vampire, he doesn't get better with age, just more decayed."

Warren shrugged and said, "I didn't have any other cards for that."

Kate grabbed a black card right away and read it, "What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?"

"Korean food," Victoria mumbled again.

Max polished off her beer and her face grew flushed even more so. The girls a passed their cards in, Warren taking his good old time to pick a card. Kate go his and read them all out. "What don't you want to find in your Chinese food? Rush Limbaugh's soft, shiny body. That's nasty guys. A murder most foul. Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone. Wow. An uppercut. The placenta. Wow."

Rachel looked over and saw Chloe laughing to herself again, "What's so funny?"

Chloe moved her hands away from her mouth and said, "Between the Clinton thing and the Limbaugh shit, it was fucking hilarious."

Kate pulled out a card and said, "I choose the placenta."

"Strike again for the badass chick over here!" said Chloe as Kate handed her a card.

"The scores are staying consistent," said Victoria drinking the rest of her beer, "I'm looking for another win soon."

"You're looking for a win?" Max asked with sarcasm.

"Okay ladies, time for me to play!" Warren said grabbing a black card. "When I saw your mom naked, it reminded me of _."

"No thank you," Victoria said placing a card down.

Max shook her head and said, "I've never seen either of my parents naked. Ever."

"I've seen my dad on accident," Kate said placing her card down, "It was weird. I couldn't look at him for a week afterward."

"I've seen Joyce naked, only cause she used to bath me when she took a bath, back when I was super little," Chloe said pushing her card closer. "Never saw my dad or my step douche naked, though."

"I've seen both of my parents naked, but I barely remember it at all," Rachel said.

Warren gathered the cards together and shuffled them. "When I saw your mom naked, it remind me of 'a sassy black woman.' Haha, that's hilarious. It reminded me of 'a fart.' It reminded me of 'warm, velvety Muppet sex.' Wow, that's weird even for me. It reminded me of 'when you fart and a little bit comes out.' Geez, guys, the farting, really? It reminded me of 'another god damn vampire movie.' ... Hey!"

Kate giggled and placed her hand on his shoulder, "I know you're sensitive, just had to whip that card out though."

Warren laughed and said, "Well, I guess I would chose the sassy black woman, cause none of us are."

"Whooo! Chase, strikes again!" Victoria said, slightly mocking Chloe in a playful way.

"I'm getting my ass kicked tonight," Max slurred out slowly.

 **Round 4:**  
Chloe 5pts  
Kate 5pts  
Warren 4pts  
Victoria 4pts  
Rachel 3pts  
Max 3pts


	6. Round Five Part One

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round Five (Part 1): Passing a Kidney Stone**

"Dude, I got the munchies," Chloe said as her stomach rumbled and echoed off the walls, "Hey, Chase, you got any party snacks or anything?"

Victoria tisk'd, "You guys brought beer and no chips or pretzels?"

"Hey, I think I got chips and shit in my car," Warren said, getting up, "Max, come back me up. I need your ninja skills to get back in safely." Both of them got up and headed out the door.

"Yeah, watch out for officer dip-shit," Chloe said grabbing Rachel's beer.

Rachel tried to snatch it from her, but failed. "What gives?"

"I already asked Vicky here for snacks, seems pretty fucking rude if I ask for a beer on top of it."

Victoria reached over to the desk, grabbed a beer and the opener, popped the cap off and passed it to Kate who passed it to Chloe. As she went to grab it, Chloe's hand grabbed air as the beer pulled back and Kate took a heavy swig of the cold brew.

Chloe's mouth dropped, "You're teasing me, Kate?"

Kate brought the bottle away from her lips and smiled, "You all make me extremely thirsty, and this thing is icy cold."

"Best mini fridge money could get me in Arcadia Bay," said Victoria, popping open another beer that she slid across the table to Chloe.

"Such a charmer you are, Che," Rachel said, reaching for her beer back and taking a drink.

"Hey, does this mean you'd hit a joint if I lit one for you, Kate?" asked Chloe with a greedy smile.

Kate shook her head and grabbed the beer bottle again. "That's to much of a stretch."

"Peer pressure?" Victoria said with a laugh.

The door opened and in came Max and Warren with a few chip bags and a bag of pretzels. They took the bags and placed one in between each person. Warren grabbed a beer before he sat down next to Kate as Rachel reached over and grabbed Max's arm, forcing her to fall down into her old spot on the couch.

"Max, you need to control this dork," she said to Max, laughing as she did, "Guess who's she pushing beer and weed on now?"

Max looked over and gave Chloe a glare, "What did you make Kate do?"

"How the fuck did you know she was talking about Kate?" asked Chloe taken back as always by Max.

"Everyone else here is drinking and smoking, other then me and Kate," Max said with a half smile, half giggle.

Chloe held up her hands and said, "Hey there, listen, she drank my booze. I just figured if she wanted to go all the way, might as well get her hella blazed before this night ends. See what kind of hilarious shit she comes up with next."

"Don't worry," Kate said with a smile, "I think the beer is gonna do that for me."

"Is everyone set? Your up, Victoria," said Warren, smashing on some Doritos.

"Wait," said Rachel. She turned to Chloe and made a motion with her two fingers, signaling for her to grab a joint out and light it. As everyone dug into the chips, Chloe lit up and took a huge hit before passing it over to Rachel who then passed it past Max and to Victoria. Before Victoria could pass it back, Warren nabbed it and took two huge hits from it before passing it back to Chloe. Kate finished off her beer, her face flushed against her normal white skin, and Max had reached over Victoria to grab another beer for herself.

Victoria grabbed a black card and read it out. "What is a girl's best friend?" Instantly, Chloe laughed and tossed her card across the table, followed by the others. "Alright. What is a girl's best friend? Beefin' over Turf... basically, Facebook. That thing that electrocutes your abs. What's that thing called?"

"The... Contor Ab Belt?" said Kate, questioningly.

Warren nodded and Victoria carried on. "Puppies! Aww. Menstrual Rage? Woah, haha. I don't know about best friend there. And lastly, the Safe Word. Kinky... I'm going to pick... weirdly enough, the menstrual rage."

"Ding, ding!" Chloe chimed as she leaned forward and snatched the card from her. "Sorry, War-G, periods are a bitch."

"Damn, and I thought drama would beat out nature in this case," Warren replied.

Max grabbed a black card and flipped it over. "And I would have gotten away with it to, if it hadn't been for _."

"Oh geez," sighed Rachel.

Max smiled and mumbled, "That's Rachel's entire game night right there, 'oh geez.' Hah."

Rachel nudged Max's arm and said, "Fuck off, silly."

They tossed the cards towards Max, who picked them up quickly and and shufled. "So, I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for 'passing a kidney stone.' ... Yeah, that uh..." Chloe cracked up at the way Max was stretching this thought process out, which caused the others to laugh as well, so Max continued on with it. "That... doesn't sound like a good time, there."

Chloe held her side and slowly chucked out, "Could... you... imagine? Fucking, Mad Max here robbing a bank... and right as she gets the cash.. she fucking starts trying to piss a fucking kidney stone out? Hahahah!"

The room was in a low uproar, no one would say anything, they held on to their stomachs and laughed out loud hard. Max took a glance to her right and saw Victoria damn near crying against the edge of her couch. After a few minutes of contagious laughter, Max raised her arms up trying to calm the others down so she could finish reading her answers.

"Guys, chill out, alright? I... I gotta get this out, damn," Max said, hiding back her giggles.

Victoria wiped her eyes and said, "Fuck, Price, what was in that weed?"

"The fucking shit ton of beer you drank on top of hella huffing this shit," said Chloe through her own tears.

"Dude, you chicks are so fucking... " said Warren, back to the floor, hands over his face restraining his laughter. Everyone silenced themselves, waiting for Warren to finish. Eventually he took his hands away and looked around before saying, "... What?"

Chloe and Victoria lost it again, losing control of their contagious laughter. Rachel shook her head and said, "Dude, are you gonna finish that thought? You are so messed up right now."

"Guys!" Max said, spilling her beer over on the table, "Aw shit!"

Kate got up and grabbed a box of tissues from Victoria's desk and brought it down to help Max wipe up the beer before it hit the cards. Meanwhile, Chloe was on the verge of pissing herself from laughter. Once they got the table cleaned up, Kate sat back down and Max picked up her cards again. She waited until the others regained their composure, letting them get their laughs out as she, herself, regained her senses.

"Alright," Max said, calming herself down, "Let me finish this. And I would have gotten away with it to if it hadn't been for 'passing a kidney stone.' If it - Chloe, stop! If it hadn't been for 'heart warming orphans.' Fucking orphans... and they're kind hearts." Max lost it herself, letting Rachel fall over on her shoulders laughing. After a moment, Max took some deep breathes and finished. "If it hadn't been for 'a big, black dick.' Didn't we have this card already?"

Victoria wiped her eyes and said, "We had 'a bigger, blacker dick.' Not this one."

"Oh okay. If it hadn't been for 'a defective condom?' Really?"

Kate laughed and said, "That doesn't make any sense? Was her master plan giving birth to Satan and she fucked up?"

The room screeched in laughter. Chloe had reached the point where she was on the floor, clutching a pillow close to her and rolling around. Victoria had her knees in her hands and began to cry-laugh into them harder then before. Rachel and Max fell weak on the couch, Rachel laying over Max's head, both crying in hysterics. Kate put her head on the table, hiding her giggling face and Warren was on his stomach, pounding the floor.

After what seemed like endless minutes, Max pulled up from under Rachel, looked at Kate and said, "Dude, where the hell did that come from?" Kate could only shrug in response, pulling herself back up. Everyone tried to compose themselves again so that Max could finish up and they could continue the game. "Okay, the last one: If it hadn't been for 'sudden poop explosion disease.' Ew, gross!... Alright, I choose the kidney stone one, for sure."

"Hell yeah, bitches," said Victoria, folding her legs back into an Indian Style sitting position and taking the black card from Max. "That was literally the most exhausting round ever."

"That was hella amazeballs," Chloe said, rubbing her beat red and wet face.

"Do you think we can continue or do we need another break?" asked Kate, tears starting to build up in her eyes form laughing.

Rachel grabbed a black card and said, "Nah, we're good. Lets go! I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow _ at the country club." The others picked out cards quickly and handed them to Rachel. She took them and took a minute to wipe her face of tears as well before reading the answers out loud. "Geez, I'm a wreak now. So I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow 'preteens' at the country club. We don't allow 'figgy pudding' at the country club. We don't allow 'apologizing' at the country club. We don't allow 'inappropriate yodeling' at the country club... A flashing image of Chloe just like terrorizing a country club and obnoxiously yodeling... Finally, we don't allow 'existing' at the country club. Damn, exclusive!" Laughter broke out again, not as intense as before. Rachel put the cards down and asked, "Who had 'existing?' Who?"

Kate reached over and took the card. Victoria stood up and stretched her arms out and said, "Guys, let's take a quick break to just get ourselves together. Hey, no more weed."

"It's almost out anyway, we were laughing to damn hard," Rachel replied to her.

Chloe grabbed it and took the final hit from it, "I got it covered."

Kate stood up as well and said, "I'm going to try and sneak outside for a second to get some fresh air. Who wants to come?"

Victoria raised her hand and, after stepping over a fallen Warren, followed Kate out the door.


	7. Round Five Part Two

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round Five (Part 2):  
**

Chloe took a sip of beer and looked at Max and Warren, laughing in response. "Damn, Max, you look so buzzed... better then your friend over there."

Max slid her foot over and kicked Warren, startling him into looking around to the other three. "Sorry, I had to see if you were still awake. I'm not buzzed, Che, I'm drunk."

Rachel laughed and leaned back into the couch. "You're a cute drunk, Max."

"Where... did they... did they all go?" asked Warren, sitting up and leaning over the table.

Chloe sat up and grabbed the beer bottle in front of Warren. "Dude, I'm cutting you off."

"They went outside for a minute, we needed a break," Max said.

"I'm having so much fucking fun though," Chloe admitted, lighting up a cigarette. "Seriously, thanks Max for draggin me out."

"Yeah, thanks Max," Rachel agreed.

Max nodded and simply replied, "Uh huh."

Chloe snickered, "So freaking drunk."

"Hella drunk, actually," Max replied, "Well... not yet, but I think I'm done with the beer."

"I know this guy is."

Warren shook his head, wiping drool escaping from the side of his mouth. "I think I'm done too."

Rachel and Chloe laughed in unison. "Yeah," Rachel said, "You're beyond already. I wonder if Victoria has some water in her fridge?"

Max crawled over and took a peek in. After a second, she pulled out a few cans of fruit punch and passed them around to the four of them. "I'll pay her back, tomorrow."

After a few minutes, Kate and Victoria came back in and took a seat. They nabbed a bag of chips and started crunching down. They took a few more minutes to eat and fuel on fruit punch and rest before they decided to continue on. Chloe finished up her cig and grabbed a black card to read.

Chloe cleared her throat and started. "Of course: When I pooped, what came out of my butt?"

"What an attractive thought," Victoria said before putting a chip in her mouth.

They tossed a card down on the table and pushed them towards Chloe. "When I pooped, 'party Mexicans' came out of my butt. 'Bullshit' came out of my butt. Fucking accurate. 'The inevitable heat death of the universe' came out of my butt."

Warren laughed and said, "Your ass started a nuclear holocaust, hah."

"Dude, 'Lady Gaga' came out of my butt. She's like the weird singer, right? Guys, I gotta go with 'bullshit.' "

Max took the card gladly and added it to her stack.

Kate took a black card and read it out loud: How am I compensating for my tiny penis?"

The giggle fits came back, suddenly no one was able to converse properly. After a moment, everyone pulled out a card for her, and Kate took them and read them out. "The little engine that could? Mutually-assured destruction? Tangled slinkies? Leveling up? or Teaching a robot to love? I like leveling up, was that yours Warren?"

Warren shook his head as Rachel reached and grabbed the card from Kate. "It fit so well, I had too."

"My head hurts," Warren mumbled as he reached for a black card.

"Um, can you read that well enough, Warren?" asked Victoria, unable to hide her smile, "I can read it for you if you want."

Warren shook his head and grabbed the card with both hands. "I got this. Okay... _ may pass, but _ will last forever."

"Two cards, time to pick two meaning less ones to clear your hand up," Rachel said sarcastically as she put two cards down in front of Warren.

The others took their time, trying to at least piece together some cohesive combination, and failing. Eventually they all put two cards down and Warren picked them up. "Let's do this. 'Basic human decency' may pass, but 'Morgan Freeman's voice' will last forever. 'Landmines' may pass, but 'the profoundly handicapped' will last forever. 'Silence' may pass, but 'Rising from the grave' will last forever. 'Classist undertones' may pass, but 'an unstoppable wave of fire ants' will last forever. And 'a beached whale' may pass, but 'switching to Geico' will last forever... Dude, none of these make sense... or am I that drunk?"

"No, none of them made any damn sense," said Chloe with a chuckle.

"Yeah, Warren, just pick one," Max slurred out.

Warren nodded again and said, "I choose... the Morgan Freeman one. That voice is addicting."

"What do you guys think? One more round?" asked Max, looking around at the others.

Rachel nodded and said, "Yeah, one more, then I'm heading to bed. I'm so buzzed."

"How's Warren going to get back? He's really bad," Kate asked concerned.

Max shrugged, "Shit, I forgot... I'm not all there..."

"I could do it," Chloe said.

Victoria shook her head, "No, look, the kid doesn't even look like he wants to move. Warren, just crash on the couch tonight, okay?" Warren nodded and flashed a small smile. "Worst case scenario, I can take him back. I'm used to getting into the boys dorms anway."

"Oh yeah?" Rachel asked, amused.

Victoria gave a sneer of a smile. "Alright guys, lets whip out another round. We have a special card to end the game one, so lets get through this round-"

"Without laughter hysteria," Chloe finished.

 **Round 5:  
** Chloe 6pts  
Kate 6pts  
Victoria 6pts  
Warren 4pts  
Rachel 4pts  
Max 4pts


	8. Round Six

**Life is Against Humanity: A Game-Night Crew Series**

The Game Night Crew (Max, Chloe, Warren, Rachel, Victoria, and Kate) got together for a night of hilarious profanity, over-the-top offensiveness, and some sexually, dirty jokes! Join them as they play the adults only game: Cards Against Humanity.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own nor control the Life is Strange Characters nor the card game 'Cards Against Humanity'  
I apologize for grammar / spelling errors within**

 ***_* are custom cards I've made in real life**

* * *

 **Round Six: 998 FB Likes  
**

"Okay, let's whip this bitch out!" Kate said, grabbing her cards, ready in hand.

Victoria drew a black card and read. "After months of practice with _, I think I'm finally ready for _!"

"This will be good," Max mumbled to herself.

"I'm warning you guys now," said Warren, "Mine is actually pretty offensive."

They took time choosing the right cards before giving them over to Victoria. "After months of practice with 'The peaceful and non-threatening rise of China,' I think I'm finally ready for 'a rival dojo.' Nice. After months of practice with 'screaming like a maniac,' I think I'm finally ready for 'almost giving money to a homeless person.' Wow."

"Hah, what a gradual incline," laughed Rachel.

"After months of practice with 'racial profiling,' I think I'm finally ready for 'The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.' Geez, wow... Oh my god, who the hell had this next one? After months of practice with 'synergistic management solutions,' I think I'm finally ready for, 'taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and his balls in the eye sockets.' Holy fucking shit."

"Dude, what the hell?" Chloe said, mouth ajar.

"Talk about messed up," Rachel responded.

"Oh my god, geez Warren, I took one glance at the last two cards and I can tell it's yours," Victoria said, laughing and sighing at the same time, 'After months of practice with 'jerking off into a pool of children's tears,' ... yeah, guys... I think I'm finally ready for *'Jesus letting a kid die because the Facebook photo only got 998 likes.'* That last card though is hysterical."

Kate smiled and said, "I feel like these cards gradually inclined into madness."

Victoria nodded in response, "I agree... but, as horrible as the first card was, I have to pick the last one for the whole Jesus-Facebook thing. Here, Warren."

Warren took the card and said, "I couldn't help it, no good cards."

"I'm up," Max said, grabbing a blank card. "Oh geez..."

"What?" asked Chloe.

Rachel leaned over and looked at the card, "Oh god, you gotta do the voice. You gotta do the voice for this guy."

Max laughed and said, "Um, alright I'll try, here goes..," Max prepared her voice for this impression, "BILLY MAY'S HERE FOR _!"

Everyone cracked up again. After a moment of laughing, everyone looked through and pulled out a card for max to read. "You have to read the answers in that voice, Max," Victoria told her.

Max laughed and prepared herself to read the answers out again. "BILLY MAY'S HERE FOR 'A PILE OF SQUIRMING BODIES!' Hah, BILLY MAY'S HERE FOR 'THE DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY!' BILLY MAYS HERE FOR 'GO FUCK YOUR SELFIE!' Wow."

"I swear, that wasn't my card," said Victoria hands up, laughing at Max.

"BILLY MAY'S HERE FOR 'A SALTY SURPRISE!' Hah, oh my god. BILLY MAY'S HERE FOR 'FINDING WALDO!' Haha, this is fantastic... but I have to go with a salty surprise."

Victoria and reached out for the card, "I bet if Billy May's did sell a salty surprise, it would be just as useless as Oxyclean."

"Dude, Billy May's could sell a salty surprise to anyone with that voice," Rachel said with a huge smile. She reached over and picked up a black card. "Calm yourselves, it's my turn. What is Batman's guilty pleasure?"

Chloe passed her card to Rachel, "I betcha I got this one."

"I like mine, even if it only amuses me," Max said softly.

They handed their cards in to Rachel. She shuffled them and read them out. "So what is Batman's guilty pleasure? A bleached asshole. Filling every oriface with butterscotch pudding. Sneezing, Farting, and Cumming at the same time, holy shit!" Victoria spit up some fruit punch after that card was read. "Okay, what is Batman's guilty pleasure? Lose lips. Hah! Or Adderall. Wow guys, nice ones... Gotta be the sneezing, farting, cumming one though."

"Totally mine!" Warren said, proudly accepting the card.

"Okay, Chloe," Max said.

Chloe grabbed a card. "It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _." Everyone immediately took out a card and slid them over to her. "Damn, guys. Okay. It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from 'saxophone solos.' Oh god, no! No! Hah."

"Not the solos!" Max fake screeched.

Kate laughed, raised her hands and said, "But all of the saxophones!"

"It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from 'Chutzpah!' "

"What's that?" asked Rachel.

Chloe scratched her head, "I think it means like 'attitude' or something. It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from 'some really fucked up shit!' Oh god, that's glorious! Hah, oh man. It lurks in the night-"

"Are you really reading the whole damn thing again?" asked Rachel.

"Hey!" Chloe said, raising a hand up, "My turn, my card, my rules and shit. Anyway... It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from 'The Hamburglar!' Haha. It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from 'three months in the hole!' Alrighty well, some fucked up shit wins."

"Hand it here, Price!" Victoria said, waving her hand up for the card.

Kate grabbed a black card from the stack. "Alright, I'll try and make this one quick. I never truely understood _ until I encountered _." They all took a minute to get their cards together before passing them to Kate. "Alright, ready?"

"I feel like none of these are going to make sense," Rachel said honestly.

"I never truly understood 'the heart of a child' until i encountered 'the Koolaid man.' I never truely understood 'Wet dreams' until I encountered 'a kiss on the lips.' That's excessive."

Rachel chuckled, "Who took that long to discover wet dreams?"

"It comes so... damn natural and unannounced for a guy," Warren added, "that... you really don't have time... to ponder what lead to it."

"Those are nice," Victoria slipped out of her lips. The other five turned their gaze to her. "What? It's a natural thing... and a pleasant one. We've all had them."

"I haven't yet," Kate said shyly.

"I have them pretty often actually," Rachel added to it.

Chloe gazed up at the ceiling for a second and said, "I think I've had like... two or three..."

"And you, Max?" asked Victoria with a devilish grin.

"Please," Chloe said with a chuckle, "I bet Max never had one either."

Max glared at her with deadly eyes. "I've had them... well one, once. Both good and weird."

"Was it after... well, you know, that morning...?" Chloe asked vaguely to Max.

"... let's just play the game, Che," Max replied, annoyingly.

Kate read on. "I never truly understood 'tripping balls' until I encountered 'a magic hippy love cloud.' I never truly understood 'me time' until I encountered 'my man servant, Claude.' Wow, kinky. I never truly understood 'A box that is conscious and wishes it were a box' until I encountered 'a sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness...' That is the most vague thing I've ever read in my life... The magic hippy love cloud one."

"Yeeesss!" sang Victoria happily.

"Damn, I've gotten so killed in this game," Max said with frustration.

"How's everyone doing?" Victoria asked looking around. "We all seem to be doing better now."

Rachel nodded and replied, "Well, Warren still looks fucked up, but we're all good."

Victoria looked over at him and asked, "Do you want me to read the last one?"

"Nah, I got it," Warren said with a smile. He reached for a black card, knocking a couple off of the stack. "As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?" In a few seconds, cards flew at Warren. He gathered them all and shuffled them. "I will keep them in line by... Moral Ambiguity... By Raptor attacks, that's awesome... By science!.. Totally... By whipping it out or... by throwing a virgin into a volcano... Wow, that's... old school... Uh... gotta pick science!"

Max jumped up and grabbed the card from him. "Yes, one last point before the end!"

"Okay, so," Victoria said, holding up her hands, "we have one more round to end the game. This is the traditional ending to Cards Against Humanity. So I'm going to draw the card and we are going pick our answers, like normal, but we will each read out our answers and decide who wins."

"So, were the points... pointless?" asked Kate.

"Ba-dum Ping!" Chloe said with a giggle.

"No, this just adds to it."

Max said, "I think you won, Victoria, I'm pretty sure you have the most anyway."

"Time to play the last card," Victoria said. She took the card from the back of the stack and flipped it on the table. "It's simple... Make a Haiku! Three cards this time guys! Just clear out what you have and we'll decide on the best one."

"Just how I wanted to end the night, on a multiple card where I can't make sense of anything," Rachel grunted slightly.

Chloe gave her a bewildered look. "You're a bitch when you're tired, drunk and high at the same time."

Rachel just glared at her and focused back on her cards. They were all silent, the only sounds were of cards scraping against each other, frantically being shuffled around in their hands. Victoria was the first to finish, placing her three cards down and discarding her other ones. Kate, Max, and Rachel were the next ones to do so, followed by Chloe and Warren eventually.

Once they were ready, Victoria looked around and asked, "So who wants to go first?"

Warren held up his cards and started up, "Okay, but I warn you it sucks: Santa Claus... The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter... The Devil Himself."

"Dark," Max said with a smile. "Having shot guns for legs... A Tribe of warrior women... Pandora's vagina..."

Kate went next. "Velcro... edible underpants... the size of my penis."

"Wow, Kate, that makes two times you've admitted to having a fucking penis," Chloe said, laughing a little bit.

"When you got it, flaunt it," Kate said with a smile.

Rachel started next. "The four arms of Vishnu... Concealing a boner... Necrophilia."

"Robert Downey Jr... A mating display... A shiny rock that proves I love you," said Victoria.

"Sounds like you wanna get married to Iron Man," Max smiled at her.

Last, but not least, "Guys who don't call... my relationship status... fabricating statistics..."

There was a silence around them, looking around at one another. Max looked at Kate and said, "I think we can all agree that Kate won that one."

"Yeah, hers was good," said Rachel, putting all her cards down on the table.

"Well, fuck, good game everyone," said Chloe, stretching her arms out.

Victoria stood up and stretched. She looked down at Max and smiled. "Well, Caulfied, I was wrong. I had a fun night."

"Yeah, we did too, good call Max," Rachel said, standing up as well.

"I'll help you clean up, Victoria," Kate offered as she started gathering things together, "Or... we can do it tomorrow?"

Max and Kate gave her a pouty face until Victoria rolled her eyes and said, "Fine, tomorrow. Both of you, since you both wanted to pout."

"I... gotta go home, right? What time is it?" asked Warren.

"You, Warren, are staying on that couch over there," Victoria said reaching down to help him up.

Rachel grabbed her flannel shirt and put it on. As Chloe grabbed her coat, Rachel turned to Max and gave her a hug. "This was awesome. We got to do this again."

"Goodnight guys," Kate said, waving to everyone.

Chloe turned to her, leaned next to her and whispered in here ear, "You sure you don't want some dope? I have one left, badass?" Kate shook her head and headed out. Chloe turned back to the others. "That girl is gonna be a Chloe in training."

"Lord pray for us all," Victoria said, heading over to her closet.

Max went over and gave Chloe a big bear hug. "Night night, Super Max," Chloe said in her ear.

"Night, Che," Max said. She followed the two girls out of the room, leaving Victoria tending to a soon-to-be unconscious Warren.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Thank you for reading this fun fiction. I had fun both writing this and playing Cards Against Humanity again so I could translate the results I got to the page. I hope you enjoyed this very much!**

 **Also, this is one of others that will happen, I'm currently working on another Game Night Crew story.**


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